Lots of times I see the invisible. The dog tells me – sometimes directly through body language, sometimes through the owner’s voice describing a behavior. This adolescent pup was gnawing at my hands, increasing in bite force and starting to get wild-eyed – fear. “Don’t hold my collar like that, it scares me.” I think, “Why does that scare you?”
The answer wasn’t long in coming. The owner said, “This dog rolls over and pees every time I put the leash on him – and he just went out!” I didn’t ask the obvious: “Does that make you angry?” I already knew the answer. The dog told me: “I get scared when you touch my head-my feet-my tail- but I really want to play with you – see?” Wiggly body, open mouth, laugh lines and a twinkle in his eye. He says it louder: “Play with me?”
Okay pup, we’ll play. See this food in my hand? I close my fist around it. “Want the food.” Lick-lick- nibble-nibble –bite –bite – turn head… “Get it!” I say and offer it to him. “Yum! – want more food.” Lick-lick- nibble-nibble –bite –bite – turn head… “Get it!” I say again. In a little while, he waits for the food… staring at it, knowing if he turns away, I will bring it to him. Another few minutes pass. I put food on the floor. He reaches for it. I cover it up. He looks at me. I reward from another hand. I uncover the food on the floor. He waits. I reward. He looks at the food on the floor. I say, “Leave it.” He looks at me. I give him several in a row – a jackpot! I pick up the food on the floor. I drop the food in front of him and say, “Leave it.” The dog looks at the food and then back at me; tail waving, smile broad. “I understand. To get yummies, I don’t touch what you put there.” The owner’s jaw has dropped and he says, “I don’t know what you just did…” I reply, “I am teaching him to think, not to react.”
A few minutes later, I lure the dog into a Down position two times. I add the cue, “Down,” followed by the lure two more times. The third time I say, “Down,” the dog throws his body on the carpet and grins at me. “Smart dog!” I say, and jackpot the choice. “He doesn’t know Down!” the owner exclaims. I hand the food to him. “I think he knows it now,” I say.
“Down,” the owner says. The dog flops to the floor, tail wagging. “Smart dog,” I repeat.
A philosophy shift is occurring. Training is possible without force. In fact, training is much faster without force. And look what a happy dog results! The owner shakes his head at me, smiling in wonder.
Suddenly, the invisible comes to light. The wife says, “He beats the dog with a belt.” I meet the man’s eyes. He does not deny it. I say, “You need to stop that. Are you willing to learn another way?” “Yes,” he says, looking at his wife. “The way I treat the dogs causes fights between us.” The wife begins her accusations, her frustrations splattering across the kitchen like a dropped jug of milk. I interrupt her attack. “I am pretty sure he’d like to change, or he wouldn’t have called me,” I point out. “Remember that positive reinforcement works for husbands, too.” I smile at them. She says softly, “You did a good job tonight, dear.” The room goes quiet.
As I drive away I wonder if I can help him see that pain and force causes fear and aggression. Maybe I can teach him to control his anger, to think things through, to put away the belt and consider a new way. I think back to something they mentioned earlier. “We are trying to have children.” I truly hope that in the coming weeks, my message of training with kindness is met with acceptance and a willingness to learn a new way. And, I hope the message sticks around when the baby comes. I hope that the invisible I see in the coming weeks will be bonds of love and understanding.
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