Living in Fear?

When I was a child, my best little friend was named Kathy. She was a year younger than I and the second youngest of a family of 6 children. She lived with her mother, siblings and step-father. I was too young to know where her biological dad was. I only knew that her step-father was an un-yielding man with a fierce temper and a fast fist. Kathy was terrified of him. One time I spent the night at her house and she had accidentally soiled her sheets. In the dark hours of the morning, we tried to get a load of laundry going so she could avoid the beating that would surely come. We failed. She was six years old. It still doesn’t make any sense to me.  

Another time, I remember her cowering, literally, at the dinner table as her brother was verbally abused and screamed at in front of the whole family (and guests). I don’t remember what for – I only remember the fear that was tangible. Don’t cross dad. He will hurt you. Message received.

Recently, I arrived at a client’s home to counsel them about their dog’s aggression to other dogs. I was met at the door by the most beautiful and sweet young dog who attempted to greet me with wiggles and some jumping up. He was prevented from doing so by harsh voice corrections and yanks on a leash which was attached to a prong collar with tiny sharp spikes digging into his smooth-coated neck. “No!”-yank – dog winced – “No!” yank – dog winced, licked his lips, dropped his tail, backed up, fearful of this intruder who brought the pain to the doorway. The dog’s owner had been instructed by another trainer to intimidate, to cause pain, to frighten her dog into obedience. The dog was changing, yes, but his eyes looked at me and said, “Did you cause my pain?”

Our consultation lasted a long time. I laid the foundation for understanding their dogs by reading canine body language. I introduced the concept that fear and pain will increase aggression. “But the other trainer said our dog was being dominant.” We talked about social relationships; the give-and-take versus categorical labels. We talked about training constructs and the over-simplification of a training regimen that is the same for all dogs. Their dogs were sensitive, I observed. They knew that. Their dogs would not do well with a punishment-based training method. Their dogs would increase the anxiety and aggression if they did not cease working with that other trainer’s methods.

I said, “You have to choose which bus you are going to get on.” “But we already bought our tickets (paid for the training classes by the prong-only trainer).” Ultimately I replied: “If the bus you are on is heading off a cliff, your tickets won’t do you much good.”  I warned them if they continued hurting their dogs in an attempt to stop the aggression, not only would it not stop it, but it would become much worse and begin being redirected toward them and toward other people. They knew that. They had already seen it happen, which was the catalyst to hire me to find another way. Kudos to them. We scheduled a follow-up lesson so we could work on more skills.

I believe it won’t be long before their dogs will change into more relaxed, more confident, more gently social dogs with proper rehabilitation and using non-force, modern methods of dog training. The dogs won’t have to live in fear that they will face pain upon the presence of a new person or another dog. Instead, they can anticipate fun, food and play when visitors and dogs show up. Not only will we change their behavior, but we’ll change the relationship the owners have with their dogs.

It’s not okay to make someone live in fear. Not a child. Not a dog. As dog owners and trainers, we have a right and a responsibility to be educated about dog body language and about humane and sympathetic training methods. Fear can change behavior. But should that be your primary method of communication with those you love?

My friend Kathy lived in fear of her dad until she was old enough to escape. I don’t know whether she ever overcame her issues with men but I do know she ended up making some bad choices as a result of the fear she’d lived with all her life. Her brothers and sister all did jail time for various crimes. Some of her brothers became very violent men. Learning can happen when fear is the teacher – but are you teaching the message you really want?

I couldn’t do anything about Kathy back then. Now, I can’t do anything about the choices that other trainer is making with his abusive, self-centered, fear-based training method. But, because my new clients are willing to trust me, and because they really love their dogs, I have an opportunity to teach them a new way– a way that will bring peace, trust and hope into their household. I am so grateful they called and are willing to learn what their dogs are truly saying.

Help Me!

Roughly 18 years ago, I was trying to help a friend train her dog. Shaka was a Rhodesian Ridgeback who wouldn't come when called. I grew up watching heavy-handed police and working dog trainers and had recently apprenticed with a no-food, no-nonsense, correction-based trainer. I was physically strong and believed the best way to teach a dog do something was to just to make him do it. So there I was in a small, fenced-in area with the dog, his owner and a leash. I did a few on-leash recalls and said, "Yeah, the dog knows it". I unclipped the leash and set him free. He was a rambunctious adolescent and quickly busied himself sniffing and exploring. "Come." No response. I did what I had been trained to do: I walked him down.

The walk-down is an intimidation technique followed by harsh punishment. Basically, you make the dog more scared of NOT coming than of coming and he figures out he'd better come when you call, no matter what. It can be very fast, but it's ugly (and not anything I would do now; you'll soon see why).

At first Shaka tried to escape by outrunning me and when I persisted to stalk him, direct eye contact and confrontational body language, he clung to his owner. "Help me." I instructed her to ignore him and she did. Shaka fled what should have been safety and kept running from me until I cornered him. I attached the leash to his choke chain and "COME!" yanked; "COME!" yanked and "COME" yanked. Unclipped his leash. Repeated as necessary until Shaka gave up and stopped, tail down, beaten in spirit, unwilling to fight. At that point, the technique changed and I called softly, "Come". Shaka had no where else to run, no one to provide safety and he took a hesitant step in my direction.

Leaving my methodology for a minute, let's consider: What did I teach that dog? (My stomach knots up at this video in my brain... knowing what I know about canine body language and how Shaka was begging for help from his mom who stood stoically by, allowing me to hurt him.) What did I teach my friend about her relationship with her dog? That she's no shelter? That she can't stop this human whacko from hurting her beloved buddy? That any professional has the right to abuse your dog because certainly they know better?

Today a client told me that her dog hates vets. Here's why: The dog tore his ACL and was certainly in a lot of pain. Several well-meaning friends told her she had to take the dog to a certain veterinarian who is an expert in that particular breed and is the only one who should do surgery on a dog of that breed because he's the expert. My client brought her dog there. Upon entering the exam room and without speaking to the dog's owner, the veterinarian literally tackled the dog to the floor, pinning him. The dog struggled. "He looked up at me with pleading eyes, asking for my help," my sad client admitted. The vet overpowered the dog. He did the surgery. But they don't go there anymore. Not surprisingly, this dog has tried to bite the new veterinarian when an exam is performed. Not the technicians. Not anyone else in the clinic. Not anyone outside of a veterinary hospital. Just the vets. The dog had asked for help from the only person who could have given it but she had abdicated her authority over her pet. Her mistake was trusting the expert. Just like my friend, all those years ago.

To his great credit and as a stellar testimony to his outstanding temperament, gorgeous Shaka did not bite me. Neither did other dogs I treated in a similar fashion. Of course not because if they fought back, they lost and never forgot that lesson. I wonder how many of them, though, learned to hate "trainers?" I'll never know but the very thought makes me cry.

You. Are your dog's advocate. YOU are his protector. Don't allow anyone to mishandle your dog. Period. Not if he is a a friend. Not if she is a trainer. Not if he is an expert. Not when your dog is clearly asking for help. You have the right and even the responsibility to say, "Hey! STOP. NOW!" Take your dog and leave. It's not rude. It's right.

Shaka forgave my idiocy. So did my friend, thankfully. I don't train that way any more. I have learned to listen to the dogs better. I have learned that their motivations can be harnessed to change their behavior.

Training is a lot more fun these days and I am glad to be in a position to pass along this story in hopes that you will make good choices about whom you hand your leash to and that you remember your dog is YOUR property and as such you have the power to tell people how they should treat him. (By the way, that's a right you'll give up if you are only a "guardian" so don't settle for less than the ability to protect your dog completely!)

Be there for him if he ever looks at you and says, "Help me!" Better yet, ask more questions before you hand over the leash or give someone access to your furry friend who trusts you.

Dog Training Philosophy

One of my Carmel puppy class participants recently emailed me a question. I thought it would be a good idea to post a few thoughts about my philosophy of dog training so that other clients can benefit as well.

The Question:
Your approach to dog training is there is no punishment for poor behavior. Only treats for good behavior. Do you agree?

My Answer:
Not exactly. I am what I like to think of as a "balanced trainer" in that my philosophy is to use what works for both dog and owner.

Most of the time, punishment used by owners cause fear or anxiety to the dog because of poor timing (not close enough in time for the dog to associate to the unwanted behavior) or an inappropriate technique (the punishment did not fit the crime). So, I teach mostly positive association because most puppies thrive on learning that good things happen for good choices. I use food, praise, life rewards (access to attention or desired people/places) as reward. Food is essential early on to earn puppy's attention, but we can phase that out and use the other rewards primarily, as I do with my own dogs.

If punishment is needed or desired by the client, well, then, I do my best as a professional to help the owner understand timing and methods that will work for their dog. I also spend time discussing whether simple management protocols (such as using a crate for potty training) or environmental corrections (such as allowing the puppy access to a table leg sprayed with Bitter End) will work first. If punishment must occur, I would prefer it is NOT associated with the owner, but rather with the unwanted behavior itself. In other words, puppy thinks: "Gee, every time I lick the plates in the dishwasher, a bunch of pop cans fly off the counter - even when my owner is no where to be seen!"

I called my business "Sensible" because of my belief that dogs and owners need the method and tools best suited to them, rather than some ideological stronghold any particular trainer has. However, I do my best to educate the owners that the methods they see on TV or used by this or that other trainer may not bring about the desired effect or relationship.

At the end of the day, my personal goal is that dogs and owners truly enjoy each other. I strive to bring balance, leadership, pleasure and trust to their relationship. The methods I choose will only be used if they will enhance these goals.

Show Me the Money!

Do you know the difference between a $1 bill and a $10 bill? Would you work harder in 5 minutes to get $100 or $1000?

If you invited me over to your house for dinner and then asked me to set the table, I probably would do so, especially if you were fixing a nice steak dinner! (Feel free to try this – and I love Waldorf salad.) However, if you asked me over for dinner but then said, “Hey Catherine, would you go dig up my septic tank and clean it out?” “There are companies you could hire for that," I would point out, and then I would get the heck out of there before the stink started. My guess is you would have to pay that septic company a whole lot more than a steak dinner.

Your dog has a value system too. Think about it: Does he get more excited for steak scraps or a dog biscuit? Cheese or Cheerios? Some of these foods have the value of a buck – the dog says, “Okay, since there’s nothing better to do, I will work for that.” You can train the new behavior easily then, if it’s a hungry dog and an easy task. But some things you ask your dog to do aren’t worth a dollar, and you find him walking away when you want to train. Depending on his interest in food and the food you choose, you may need to try something new. You need to show him the money – and you need to understand your dog’s valuation of various rewards.

To discover what your dog thinks of various food items you might use for reinforcement, play this game with your dog:

First, choose 5 to 10 different types of food treats, keeping in mind that some people food is toxic to dogs and you should never use raisins, grapes, macadamia nuts, onion, alcohol or avocados, to name a few. Some things to try include his regular dog food, a teaspoon of peanut butter, mild cheese, hot dogs, soda crackers, Cheerios, banana, cooked chicken, lunch meats, prepared dog treats – you get the idea.

Have your dog Sit/Stay or have a friend hold his collar while you show him two treats. Place the treats on the floor (no practicing stealing from the coffee table!) about 5 feet away and at least 1 foot apart and then release your dog. Some dogs appear rather indiscriminant – going for whichever treat is closer – at first. However, once your dog realizes there are choices, you will see him begin to check them out a little before eating. You can then add a few more treats… and keep a log of which ones he prefers best. The more choices, the more discriminating your dog will become.

Years ago when I worked for a hearing dog program, we used a similar game to evaluate food drive in prospective adolescent dogs in a shelter. One dog watched carefully while we set out hot dog, a dry biscuit, cheese and freeze dried liver. When released, she quickly ran up to the line of food, ate the liver, then the cheese then the hot dog and finally grabbed the dog biscuit, ran away a few feet and buried it in the pea gravel. The whole test lasted about 10 seconds. When we finished laughing, we chose her for the program and named her Speedy.

Your dog may have a different reaction, but in the end, you will know your dog better. Then, when you need to train a difficult behavior, or work on desensitizing your dog to an unpleasant grooming task, you will know which food items are worth more to your dog. Don’t think of it as a bribe. Instead, consider what I would have to pay you to set the dinner table or clean out my septic tank… and then be glad you have choices about whether to accept the job or not!

Train Your Dog to Be Friendly!

I cringe every time I see someone thump a dog on the head. Flat hand pats dog in varying degrees of thump-itude. Dog winces, blinks. Sometimes the dogs don’t mind. I am thinking of a certain Labrador I know who is so happy to have anyone touch him, he doesn’t mind where or how and he’ll thump you back with his tail so hard it’ll nearly break your kneecap. But other dogs… sometimes they are bothered with the thump-approach to greetings.

A polite canine greeting involves lots of body arcs and nose-to-tail inspections. Polite dogs don’t confront each other squarely with direct eye contact. That’s “cruisin’ for a bruisin’” language! However, this is how most people approach our dogs, so we have to help our dogs learn to accept, if not enjoy, these kinds of greetings.

You can teach your dog to accept rough handling, even from strangers. You can start simply, with an easy game I teach children and parents to play with the family dog. It’s called, “I Spy.” Mom says, “I spy Sparky’s shoulder.” Child touches Sparky’s shoulder with a flat hand. Mom feeds Sparky some cheese. “I spy Sparky’s ear.” Child pats Sparky’s ear. Sparky looks at Mom for the cheese and gets some. In this manner, Sparky can be desensitized – made less sensitive – to touches from family members. When Sparky begins to seek out the touch (in order to earn the cheese!), you can begin asking friends to touch Sparky while you reward him.

You can also give Sparky easy tricks to do so that he has a predictable interaction when strangers approach. Usually, if a dog is offering a Sit-Up behavior, people stand back and watch rather than thump him on the head. If Sparky can shake a paw in greeting, this gives those pesky strange hands a predictable place to touch Sparky. Remember to reward Sparky for his good behavior!

A week ago, I watched as about 9 children gathered around my dog to pet her all at once. There was plenty of thumping and patting. Since this isn’t something that happens to her often, I automatically rewarded her with huge chunks of jerky. She was happy to hit such a jackpot and eagerly accepted all the busy hands touching her. I expect that the next time she’s surrounded by children, she’ll wag her tail and tell me that all the thumping in the world is worth it if I pay her well enough! Your dog also deserves a reward for being a good dog. And, if your dog is sensitive, be proactive and train him to accept the affection of a stranger, no matter how thumpily it’s offered.

Iced In!

We’re iced-in today. School is closed and kids are home. It’s Saturday in the middle of the week. If the power goes out, computer is down, X-box and Wii won’t entertain the children, but they can still have a lot of fun. Gather the kids and the dog, some tasty treats for both (popcorn is a great dual-species treat!) and let’s play some games.

Remember the one-foot-per-year-old when giving your child and dog freedom to play. For example, if you have a 10 year old child, you should be no more than 10 feet away, and paying attention to how your child plays with the family dog.

Things the children can do with the family dog, named Gypsy for our examples:

Children 2-6

• Bring her a toy or a treat, just drop it on the floor and walk away.
• Play the “I spy” game (“I spy Gypsy’s paw” – child gently touches paw – you give Gypsy a treat for permitting it. Change the underlined item to other body parts.)
• Help the child lay a “treat trail.” Someone holds Gypsy while the child walks away, putting down a treat every 2-3 feet, down the hallway, around a corner… and then a pile of yummies at the end. Return to Gypsy, release her and watch her follow the trail. (Hold your child’s hand to keep him from getting ahead of Gypsy in her search.)

Children 6-10

• Read her a story. Dogs don’t judge – just let the child read. You reward Gypsy for laying still next to the child. (Reward can be petting or massage to keep her quiet.)
• Brush her, under your supervision – some dogs may be sensitive to this, so reward her for every brush stroke with a tasty treat. (Stop before Gypsy’s tired of this.)
• Have the children do jumping jacks nearby while you reward your leashed dog for ignoring them.
• Round-Robin-Recalls. Have all family members sit in a circle. Give each person several tasty treats (for Gypsy). One person calls Gypsy. If she does not immediately come, the caller may pat the floor or show the treat. Gypsy comes and earns the treat. That person says the name of the next person to call Gypsy. Play as long as Gypsy enjoys the game.
  

Children 10-15

• Play the “shell” game – with your supervision: Get three small plastic bowls or cups. Put one treat or piece of food under one cup with Gypsy looking. Teach Gypsy to sniff the cup and knock it over to get the food. Start easy, then get more difficult as she gains experience.
• Play Hide-and-Seek Come. Hold Gypsy by the collar. Let your child show her a treat or toy and then run away to hide (easy at first) in another room. Have your child call Gypsy and release her. When she finds the child, she earns the treat and big happy praise! Repeat, changing roles.

Who says an indoor-day has to be boring! Children and young dogs have boundless energy. Enjoy the opportunity to make an iced-in day a relationship-building day for your whole family.

More Books for Young Readers

(photo by Becky Andrade)
Summer reading programs are almost done! Here's a list of recommended books for your K-3rd grade dog enthusiasts! Let me know how you like them!

Early Readers

Barkley – Sid Hoff

Big Dog…Little Dog – by P.D. Eastman. A study in contrasts with two dog friends.

Clifford the Big Red Dog (Series) – Norman Bridwell

The Digging-est Dog –Al Perkins. Silly story with rhyming text will appeal to young readers.

Go, Dog, Go! P.D. Eastman

Good Dog, Paw! – Chinlun Lee. A veterinarian and her dog share a day filled with love.

Grouping at the Dog Show (Rookie Read-About Math) – Simone T. Ribke. Exploring the differences of dogs using sets and subsets.

Harry the Dirty Dog (series)– Gene Zion. Also, Harry by the Sea, No Roses for Harry!, others.

Henry and Mudge (series of titles) – Cynthia Rylant. Delightfully funny, easy to read stories about a boy’s adventure with his large dog Mudge. A favorite author at our house.

A House for Little Red. – Margaret Hillert. A boy has trouble finding a house for his pup, until Dad comes to the rescue and they build a house together.

Just Me and My Puppy – Mercer Mayer. Sweet little story about learning the responsibilities associated with puppy care, and what may go wrong! Fun Mercer Mayer characters.

May I Pet Your Dog? – Stephanie Calmenson. “The How-to Guide for Kids Meeting Dogs (and Dogs meeting Kids”

Mr. Putter and Tabby Walk the Dog –Cynthia Rylant Hilarious adventure when Mr. Putter and Tabby care for their neighbor’s dog while she is unable to walk him.

My New Boy. Joan Phillips – Step into Reading Step 1 Book. Cute story of a pup’s big responsibility, taking care of his new boy.

The Mystery of the Missing Dog. – Gwendolyn Hooks. Cute story of a missing dog and the boy who looks for him.

Our Puppy’s Vacation – Ruth Brown. Delightfully and beautifully illustrated, this expressive puppy will win your heart! Simple text, some bigger words.

Tara and Tiree, Fearless Friends – Andrew Clements. A Ready to Read level 2 book based on a true heroic story.

We Both Read About Dogs (We Both Read Series) – Bruce Johnson. Adult reads left page with details, child reads simple right page text. Nicely done. Good photos.


Grade Levels 1-3

Barry The Bravest Saint Bernard – Lynn Hall (STEP into Reading 4). Exciting story about a famous rescue dog and the monks who bred and trained him.

Caring for Your Dog. First Facts Series – Preszler. Concise, easy to read book of the responsibilities of dog ownership. Typical evolutionary statement that dogs came from wolves. Otherwise, good basic information.

Dog Day Detectives: Mini-Mysteries for a Summer Day – Rick Walton. Easy to read, but tough to solve, short logic puzzles often using clues provided by the children’s dog. Answers provided.

Dog Heroes Series – titles include Disaster Search Dogs, Dog Scouts of America, Fire Dogs, Guide Dogs, Hollywood Dogs, Medical Detective Dogs, Military Dogs, Police Dogs, Security Dogs, Seizure-Alert Dogs, Service Dogs, Sled Dogs, Snow Search Dogs, Therapy Dogs, Water Rescue Dogs and Wilderness Search Dogs. Accurate, well-designed, educational.

Dog Poems – Dave Crawley. Cute and funny poems for the young dog lover.

Dog to the Rescue : Seventeen true tales of dog heroism - Jeannette Sanderson – Great short stories of dogs rescuing people from various trouble. There is a second volume by a similar title.

Dog Watch Series Mary Cassanova Mystery fiction series centered on the antics of dogs who have interesting personalities, struggles and triumphs. Fun. Titles include: The Turtle Watch Mystery, Trouble in Pembrook, Dog-Napped,, Danger at Snow Hill, To Catch a Burgler, Extreme Stunt Dogs

Domestic Dogs Series – Susan H. Gray. Breed books written for elementary ages.

Eye to Eye with Dogs series. Lynn Stone. Breed books simply written for about 3rd grade level.

Freckles: The Mystery of the Little White Dog in the Desert – Paul M. Howey. A true story of an abandoned dog found guarding her puppies. She begins a new life and a new career with love and patience. Plenty of desert information – a mini study of the southwest.

Foxie – Ingri and Edgar Parin d’Aulaire. A small dog is mistreated by his master and has an adventure ending in understanding, forgiveness and a new start.

Give a Dog a Bone: Stories, Poems, Jokes and Riddles About Dogs – compiled by Joanna Cole and Stephanie Calmenson. A delightful anthology of elementary level dog literature.

Gretchen The Bicycle Dog – Anita Heyman. A dachshund’s true story of overcoming paralysis with love and the aid of a wheeled cart for mobility.

Hachiko; The true story of a loyal dog. – Pamela S. Turner. Hachiko was a real dog who waited for his master at a Japanese train station. One day, the master died and did not come home. For seven years, Hachiko met the train anyway, gaining a loyal following. Hachiko dies but is remembered still with a statue in the spot where he waited.

Henry and Ribsy – Beverly Cleary Henry Huggins makes a deal with his father--if Henry can keep his dog Ribsy out of trouble for a month, he can go fishing with his father. Ribsy does his best to make Henry lose the deal.

More Than Man’s Best Friend; the story of working dogs – Robyn O’ Sullivan. A concise introduction to dogs used for search and rescue, herding, therapy, service, guide and other work.

Mutts – Tammy Gagne. Non-fiction all about mixed breed dogs.

Not My Dog – Colby Rodowsky. After a girl brags about getting a puppy, she inherits an adult dog from her great-aunt Margaret and takes a while before she accepts it as her own. Sweet.

Ribsy – Beverly Cleary Separated from his owner, Henry Huggins, in a shopping center parking lot, an ordinary city dog begins a string of bewildering adventures. I laughed out-loud several times reading this great adventure that has a happy ending!

Sammy Dog Detective – Colleen Stanley Bare. A true tale with photographs of a beautiful working police K-9 who is also a loving family member.

Shep – Sneed B. Collard III. True story similar to Hachiko. Takes place in Montana during the Great Depression and into WWII. Shep died tragically, but is still remembered worldwide.

Tornado – Betsy Byars. A story-within-a-story about a mutual love between a boy and his dog. Larger print for younger readers, 49 pages.

Woof and Wag: Bringing Home a Dog. A Picture Window Book. Davis. Covers all basic responsibilities with making a dog your family pet. Nice resource guide included.

Your Pet Dog Revised Edition A True Book by Elaine Landau. Nice book about the responsibility and care involved with owning a dog.

Family Meeting!

Here's a great family showing unity by all participating in puppy class!

However, sometimes I see conflict between family members about how to train or treat the family dog. It's important for unity, and for the dog's sake, that people in the same household are consistent toward the dog. It may be helpful to have a family meeting and discuss these questions:

1. What are our goals for this dog?

2. Who will be the primary trainer? (This should be an adult.)

3. How can the rest of us support the training efforts of this person? (The person holding the leash tells the dog what to do - others should be quiet!)

4. What are the commands we will use with the dog, and what exactly do these words mean? (Make a list and post it on the refrigerator!)

5. How can all family members participate in the training? (Even small children can do small tasks.)

6. What are specific jobs each person can have? (Write these down!)

Use these questions as a guide to beginning the conversation with your family about the dog and the training you envision. Keep the meeting very short - no more than 20 minutes. Find points of agreement, for example, "We all want the dog to ______."

Above all, remember that your family relationships are more important than your pet. Treat one another with respect and consideration as you work together making changes that will help everyone enjoy your dog more.